Guide to... The Stephese
Part of the Guide to... travel books
Guide to... The Stenphese is part of a 28-guidebook series in Guide to... Favont, published by the Department of Standards. Each book covers a duchy, providing reviews of food establishments and tourist attractions, public transport information and safety tips.
The Stephese is the perfect staycation for the intrepid explorer. Untouched mountains, dramatic cliffs, and close-knit cities, this duchy will make you feel like you're exploring uncharted lands without leaving Favont.
This Guide To... book will give you helpful information on travelling around, how to deal with the locals, the dining culture, and all the must-see attractions. Look out for extra tips from our Stephesian correspondent, Miss Marisol Guthrie. Her insights will help you make the best of your holiday in the Stephese.
Purpose
Guide to... books present the information the Department of Standards gather on local customs and the quality of guild services, in a way that is accessible to the public.
The first books published coincided with the adoption of the passenger train. They encouraged the public to take journeys across the country and experience new places.
3 Tips for Travelling Around the Stephese
With impassable mountains, deep valleys, and underground cities, the Stephese can sometimes be tricky to navigate.
1. Take the train
To make sure you can explore all corners of the Stephese, take the train. Most roads in the duchy are narrow and treacherous. The subterranean city of Steffen has no roads at all! Fortunately, their train system makes up for the absence. Enjoy excellent views of the landscape and see all the urban areas from an interesting perspective.
Miss Guthrie says: 'One of my favourite parts of going to the Stephese is taking the train into Steffen. You leave the sunny outside world and whizz into a cave, banking on all the corners before coming out onto a bridge, high above the cavern of the city. It is a wonder not to be missed.'
2. Invest in some good shoes
Local Stephesians love to walk. Though every town and city (apart from Steffen) has an excellent bus service, the real experience is to be had on the streets. Rich food, beautiful wares, and ancient buildings will garner your attention, the likes of which you can easily miss otherwise.
Miss Guthrie says: 'Walking everywhere comes very naturally here. Without even realising it, I can walk miles. Sometimes it can be the best and easiest way to travel.'
3. Take a 'rixio'
Sometimes referred to as a rick-she-o or a ricko, a rixio is a small cart with wheels pulled by a slave, or a pair of slaves. Don't let the description fool you. They're fast and easily manoeuvrable in city centres. You can order them to stop at any time, so you can take a moment to enjoy a certain shop or sight.
Miss Guthrie says: 'For days when I am too tired to walk, these are a lifesaver. They are always beautifully painted with the comfiest of seats, and the slaves give you something to look at, too! In the evenings, when I am wearing heels, there is no other way to travel.'
History
In 734, the Department of Standards first published a series of Guide to... books that coincided with the adoption of passenger trains. Every city, duchy, and country had its own series. The books were instantly popular, apart from in the Stephese. Here, the treacherous landscape and the local population of Ananans discouraged visitors out of fear.
However, in 1034, a new version was released that included helpful instructions on how to protect yourself from Ananans. The effect was immediate, and tourism boomed overnight.
Essential Equipment: a Taser
Tasers are vital when exploring the Stephese. Though most of the Ananans have been removed, thanks to the Reconstruction, some still remain, now as slaves. As the unholy spawn of Lucian, they should be treated with caution and reminded of their place in society.
Miss Guthrie says: 'It is rare that you'll need to use your taser, but you'll regret the day you don't bring it. Confidence is key to effective use.'
1. Show them you are armed
If you are met with an Ananan whose attitude displeases you, indicate to them that you have a taser. This action alone is often enough to cause them to return to a submissive state.
2. Flick it open
If that has no effect, flick your taser downwards so the telescopic function opens. The increase in size can also be discouraging to them.
3. Lunge
If there is no improvement in the Ananan, or if they begin to call upon their dark magics, lunge towards them and zap them with the end of the taser. Its full extension means you will not have to get too close. The aetheric shock can cause them to pass out, giving you time to leave the scene.
Legacy
Before 1034, Stephesian culture was unknown to the rest of Favont. After the most successful production, thousands of holidaymakers came to the duchy, armed with their 'little brown books'. They were simultaneously annoyed and ecstatic about the cultural differences. Shortly, the rest of Favont was adopting Stephesian elements, often without realising it.
A prime example is Ananan patterns, which are typically made up of small organic interlocking shapes. These became vastly popular and were soon featured in clothing, jewellery and homewares. Another example is the concept of dinner-theatre. Initially one of the most offensive things about Stephesian culture, it now has a cult gathering in the rest of Favont.
Dining in the Stephese: 4 Mistakes To Avoid
You may think rules for dining out in the Stephese are the same as the rest of Favont, but there are some traps that first-time visitors fall into.
1. Snapping your fingers at the waiter
It may seem like the most natural way to get your waiter's attention, but in the Stephese it can result in you being shown the door. The owners of the restaurants will not appreciate you treating their slaves in this manner.
Miss Guthie says: 'Time is slower in The Stephese. When the ruling class is immortal, what is time? Take patience, enjoy the sights and sounds, and engage with the experience. If you need your waiter quickly, smile at them, or if it is an emergency, raise your hand.'
2. Asking for Separate Plates
Dining in the Stephese in general is a communal experience. You will find that most menus are designed to accommodate a shared meal. This will come on one large platter, sometimes spreading the length of the table, so be prepared for that. Dining on separate plates would be considered detrimental to the experience.
Miss Guthrie says: 'You'll find in general in the Stephese that people want you to adapt to their culture, not the other way around. I recommend having some fun with it and experiencing life differently. You may be amazed.'
3. Avoiding the Live Show while you Dine
Always expect either a live band or a theatre production while you dine. Most restaurants in The Stephese like to entertain their guests with a live show. This can sometimes be more of a pull to their restaurant than their food. The shows vary from comedy to epic tragedies. We went to one which featured scenes from the Civil War and were subjected to screams of a dying man while eating a soufflé.
Miss Guthrie says: 'I implore you to give dinner theatre a go, but do your research first. Ask your hotel, read the local newspaper, or go online to see what shows fit your taste.'
4. Sampling the Wine
When dining at a fine establishment, we expect the waiter to allow us to sample the wine first. In the Stephese, where grapes are grown on the mountainsides, and the most likely immortal owners of the restaurant have already experimented with every pairing available, it is expected that you trust their judgement as part of the dining experience, as opposed to selecting your own.
Miss Guthrie says: 'Trust your restraunteur. The creation of your dining experience is of utmost importance to them. No doubt, you already know the wine template that you prefer, but use this opportunity to broaden your palate.'
Final Thoughts
I fell in love with the Stephese when I was five. My mum and dad took me on the train to Steffen. I don't think my nose ever left the window. Where there should be sky, there were mountains, and where there should be roads, there were rivers.
On the train, a man asked if it was our first time in the duchy. I sensed my mother's panic. She was polite, but succinct, and the stranger quickly left. Later, she told me that it was an Ananan, and that her hand had never left her taser throughout their conversation.
It was the first time I had ever knowingly seen one. I'd meet many in my time as a researcher for the Department of Standards, but never once would I ever feel the necessity to reach for my taser.
Guide to... The Stephese
Department of Standards
Tourism Guidebook
1050
734
Every four years
Brown paperback book featuring an illustration of one of the sights.
Little Brown Book
Official System Record
Updated by Lemi Louf, Senior Researcher
Approved by Department of Standards
The casual recommendation to have a tazer and then the guide for use was a surprising detail, but I also found it very telling about the setting. A great travel guide!
Thank you!
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