Life, Values, and Meaning

My family just gives up. Life hands them a bad hand and then they're like "Well, guess I'll die" and just never gets back up again. They are content to never try anything, and be miserable. "That's just life," they say and just keep existing like that.
My family values a lot of things that don't make sense given the above. Everyone needs to be successful and talented, settle down, have a family, and be their definition of what a good person is, which is like "religious," but in what they see as "religious," all other morals get a pass.
"Life is to suffer" is all the meaning they have in this life, and any dreams they have, and trip in the road, if it's not perfect they don't do it.
It's been like this since forever.
 
Finn seems like he's just trying to die, and it seems like he doesn't care who goes down with him, from my perspective. That I cannot abide by.
I don't know what he values besides duty and the law. Dude seems to think everyone hates life, and death is peace. I mean sure I guess, but not everyone see it that way.
Finn needs to find meaning in life, desperately, but he's also terrified to do anything to find it, which I just don't understand.
 
I've had a long, hard life. I've given up on my fair share of things, and there's a lot of things I should have given up on sooner. The trick is knowing. You gotta know when to hold them, know when to fold them, know when to walk away, know when to run. Don't catch your chickens before they hatch. They'll be plenty of time to count them when they hatch. But I don't give up on life. I used to try to. Sometimes at my lowest I think about trying to again, but I don't.
Most of the times when I feel that way things are better in the morning. And even if they aren't, I got enough hope to coast me through until I can get myself out or it gets better.
Dying means, there's no possiblity to make it better.
I'm still figuring out what I value. "What's right" I guess, but sometimes that gets murky. I don't really give a shit about laws. I try not to kill if I can help it, but end of the day, mine, my family, and my friends' safety and happiness comes first.
Life don't have to have a meaning or a cause. I don't give up on life, and I try to work towards goals, but sometimes shit doesn't work out. Then you got to find a whole new one, which I do from time to time.
I don't particularly like my life, and I know life has a lot of suffering and groping in the dark for things, but there's nuggets of goodness and kernels of light that make it worth going on for. I may never convince Finn or my family any of that and it's not my job to. Plus, who knows if I am right or not. I don't know if there is a way to be right.
Everyone has to figure all this out themselves. I still believe after all this suffering, I can heal and make a good life for myself. I may never get all better, but I know I can have a good life regardless. It could start right now, or the machinations could have started years ago but I just can't see it because I am in it.
Regardless, I am excited to see where I go.